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New Hamza analogy for getting girls and success
The checkpoint model, trajectory vs. position, and why growing with a girl is the wrong frame entirely.
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"The girl that you've met in your hometown, quite literally, is a loser compared to the girls you're going to get in a few years from now." — Hamza Ahmed
This is a solo monologue from Hamza Ahmed, a self-improvement creator whose channel targets men in their early twenties who are early in the process of building themselves up. The popular framing he's pushing against is the 'grow together' narrative, the Instagram idea that you meet a girl at your current level and you both climb toward your best lives side by side. The actual model he's running is a trajectory argument: two people can occupy the same position on the mountain while moving in completely opposite directions, and position is almost irrelevant compared to velocity. The protocol that follows pulls from the extended mountain-climb analogy he develops across the video, including how to think about short-term relationships, why certain women at the top can't be climbed toward, and what happens to men who stop running entirely.
Read Trajectory, Not Position
The core mistake Hamza describes is evaluating a woman by where she is right now rather than where she is going. You meet a girl who seems to be on your level. You are both at the same point on the mountain. What you cannot see in that moment is that your trajectory is sharply upward and hers is flat or slightly declining. She drinks on weekends. She is not building anything. She looks like a six heading toward a seven because you are standing next to her, but she is actually a six heading toward a four. This is why Hamza says the girls who seem like eights or nines to you right now are probably objective sixes. It is not that your taste is bad. It is that you have only ever stood at this elevation. You have no reference point for what the higher levels feel like, so your rating system is miscalibrated to your current position. The girl who looks exceptional from where you are standing would look ordinary from three levels up. The fix is not to be cruel about the women you are meeting. It is to stop using present position as your primary filter and start asking what direction someone is moving in. A woman who is at a five but genuinely accelerating is a different proposition than a woman who is at a six and slowly declining. For most of the women Hamza describes, the trajectory question answers itself quickly once you pay attention to habits, not aesthetics.
THE PLAY
For the next 30 days, when you find yourself rating a woman, add a second question after the initial assessment: is she moving up or down? Look at her habits over the last six to twelve months, not her current appearance. If you cannot answer the trajectory question with evidence, treat the rating as incomplete.
Use The Checkpoint, Then Leave It
Hamza's mountain analogy treats short-term relationships as checkpoints in a video game. The checkpoint has real value. You rest, you restore some energy, you enjoy yourself, you save progress. Skipping every checkpoint entirely is also a mistake because those guys, in his words, 'burn out and tumble back down the mountain as fast as they ran up.' The checkpoint is not the enemy. The enemy is staying at the checkpoint forever. He describes a kind of gravity that these relationships exert: the longer you stay, the more the comfort recalibrates your sense of normal, and the slower your rate of growth becomes. By definition, if you are still spending meaningful time with a woman who is not climbing, you are not climbing at your natural rate. You are matching her pace, which may be zero or negative. He puts it plainly: the only way to remain with her for any extended period is to slow down. The checkpoint metaphor also reframes how to think about leaving without guilt. The woman at that level was functioning as a checkpoint for other men before you arrived and will do so after you leave. She is not being harmed. She is not losing something she was going to keep. You are not abandoning her. You are using the relationship for what it actually is and then continuing the climb. Hamza says the moment you leave and start running again, within seconds you feel the difference and wonder why you stayed so long.
THE PLAY
If you are currently in a situationship or relationship with a woman whose habits are not matching your rate of growth, set a private deadline of no more than 90 days. Use that time to enjoy the checkpoint, then make a clean decision. Do not extend the deadline because it feels comfortable. Comfort at a checkpoint is exactly the mechanism that keeps men stuck.
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Stop Trying To Carry People Up
Hamza distinguishes between helping someone and dragging someone. Dragging, in his framing, is when you invest energy in pulling another person up to a level they would not have reached on their own. He applies this to women you are dating, to male friends, and to basically anyone in your social orbit. His claim is that dragging always costs you more than it returns, and that the person being dragged almost always resents it eventually. He is specific about why this backfires with male friends: if you drag someone to a level above where they would have landed independently, they know it. They know that their position is borrowed. That knowledge does not make them grateful. It makes them resentful and eventually they find a reason to undermine you, because having you around is a constant reminder of what they could not do on their own. He says this happened to him personally. With women the failure mode is different but equally predictable. You get her to come to the gym twice. She meditates for a week. You start projecting a future version of her that does not exist yet and may never exist. You are not dating the woman in front of you. You are dating your own fantasy of who she could become if she matched your discipline for a decade. He says this is one of the most common ways men waste years of their highest-growth period. His counter is blunt: run your race. Help people by sharing what you know publicly or in ways that cost you nothing. Stop privately investing in individuals who are not growing at a speed that justifies the investment.
THE PLAY
Identify one person in your life right now, a woman you are dating or a friend you are encouraging, where you are putting in more energy to move them forward than they are putting in themselves. Stop all one-sided investment this week. Continue being friendly. Stop carrying. Observe whether they close the gap on their own.
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